The next day, I dragged my tired body to the pristine beach behind the retreat. My mind and my body felt like a human Chrysalis jelly. I felt unable to do the simplest of tasks, attend to my daughter, eat a meal or have a conversation.
My mind was abuzz, my foundations were shaking. I had not regularly meditated in a while. I must meditate and quiet my mind was all I could think. I heard the soft voice of my spiritual guide urging me on.
Be kind to yourself, sit and see for what it is.
I spent most of the morning walking and sitting in meditation. The storm of thoughts swept me up and I gently pulled back to my breath. Then again, the torrent of thoughts and again, the coming back to my breath. A losing battle, I couldn’t help thinking dejectedly and tried walking meditation instead. It felt good for my feet to crunch over hard pieces of shells, rough bark and soft, pulpy seaweed, washed in by the night's storm. I walked over the roughest paths strewn with beach debris, not caring if there were any shards of glass hidden.I needed to feel my body’s sensations, even if it was pain, so I could stop feeling my mental anguish.
Exhausted, but calm by a few degrees, I sat to give thanks to the Universe. The sea which looked rough and menacing when I started my meditation, looked calm and friendly now. I was hypnotized by how the soft foam spread its lace over the sand, over and over again.
A thought came to me saying, I have been a rudderless, aimless boat all my life going from one fancy to another.
I clearly heard a strong voice from within me counter that thought.
“No! You are a ferry!”
In that moment, all was clear. My mission lay before me.
Find people who need healing and ferry them to Kerala for their transformation. Simple. Done.
I would love to hear how you arrived at your calling. Leave a comment or send an email. Blessings !